


The mistaken obituary.

by ambientbliss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Accidental Self Harm, Angry Derek, Anxiety, Depression, Derek assumes, Derek doesn't know how to handle emotions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, Hurt Derek, Hurt Stiles, Implied Cheating, M/M, Panic, Stiles Leaves, Stiles assumes, Yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambientbliss/pseuds/ambientbliss
Summary: Stiles assumes, and it gets the best of him. The relationship that he and Derek have built may be coming crumbling down around him. That is if Derek doesn't fall apart first.





	

Stiles sat there reading over the paper he had just written. This assignment for class was ridiculously easy, almost too easy for him really. College was pretty easy for him considering he got to select his classes, and drop those that he just could care less about. Something that got him about it, was the fact that he couldn’t select a major. Too many things appealed to his ADHD riddled brain, but nothing stuck as a hard and fast solution to the question of “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. That was how Stiles landed himself in a sociology class. Social Psychology. If anything he was hoping it would help him with the behaviors of the pack members since he wasn’t as tuned in as the wolves were to each other. 

The paper weighed heavy in his hands. The first copy printed off, he hated the font. It wasn’t representative enough. Aside from that, the words represented him well. In all honesty he would love to save it for his inevitable demise. Just in case it came sooner rather than later. It was always a possibility with the life he lived. His father had asked him if stepping away from this life would actually do him good. The Sheriff knew that Stiles was rooted into the supernatural life, but he always wondered if Stiles would benefit from attempting a normal life. 

Stiles couldn’t leave the pack, he loved the pack. They were his family, but it wasn’t only that. It was Derek. The brooding Sourwolf that Stiles had fallen hard for. That wasn’t the problem though, the problem with it was Derek had fallen hard too. The sneaking around was limited, because neither of them had the balls to say something about it until Stiles’s junior year. Shortly after he turned 18, they started their relationship. 

After graduation Stiles moved into the loft with Derek, made it more homey. Especially with the Star Wars things, and Marvel nicknacks littering any flat surface. Things had been great, wonderful, Stiles’s dream come true sprinkled with a big bad and blood here and there. Until recently. 

Derek had been pulling away, quieter than usual. No longer brushing his fingers across Stiles’s shoulder when he walked by. Ultimately the little glances and the touches that had surprised Stiles at first were gone. The wolf was gone more often than not, training with the pack. Stiles offered to go time and time again but Derek told him to stay home. That was when Stiles started to doubt himself. He wasn’t the most attractive person, not compared to Derek. The man looked like he fell out of a freaking GQ magazine. 

Stiles was just Stiles. Sure over the years his muscles became more defined, and he got stronger. But he was always jittery, never shut up, his nightmares woke just about everyone in a 3 mile radius. He was a burden. For shit sake, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. So he lived with Derek, went to school, had dinner with his dad once a week and continued to get in the way. 

With a deep breath, Stiles put his work down on the table dropping a few other pieces of homework along with it and stood up. He couldn’t sit and think anymore, he had to do something. As if on clockwork, Derek walked into the loft glancing at Stiles and heading to take a shower. Stiles didn’t like to admit that he was going to snoop, but he couldn’t help it. His ever running mind supplying him with terrible alternatives as to what Derek was actually doing when he wasn’t with Stiles. Or _who_ he was doing. 

“How was training?” His voice was nervous as he stood in their bedroom watching Derek strip to his briefs. 

“Good.” Derek’s tone clipped, he seemed tired.

Stiles just nodded. Not saying anything else as Derek passed him heading straight to the bathroom. Once Stiles heard the shower start, he walked to the pile of clothes Derek dropped in the hamper, pulling the shirt to his nose. Stiles could smell the musky scent of Derek that he loved so much, then there was another smell. Gun powder. Like someone who was around guns all the time had been all over this shirt. 

His heart sunk. Of course Derek’s “training” would be with Braeden. He had seen her motorcycle in town a few days ago, and Derek had been out more often. There was no way he was training that much. She had her life together, she was a badass. Stiles was nothing compared to her. His shaky fingers dropped the shirt back in the hamper. He needed a plan. Stiles stuffed some clothes in his backpack along with his laptop and whatever books he needed. Just in case. 

When Derek got out of the shower, Stiles was sitting on the couch in the living room. If he was honest, Stiles didn’t even know what was going on in the TV show he was watching. He hadn’t been paying attention to it since he turned it on. From the corner of his eye he could see Derek steps stutter, it was almost like he hit an imaginary wall. Which would have been funny to Stiles had he not been feeling so worthless.

“Stiles.” Derek’s voice reached his ears, and he turned his head slightly. 

“Hmm.”

“Are you okay?” Stiles could practically hear the wolf’s eye brows furrow. The concern rich in his voice, slamming into Stiles’s chest.

“I’m fine.” His voice steadier than he expected.

Derek walked closer to where Stiles was sitting, his arms crossed over his bare chest. Stiles hated that he was still ridiculously attractive, even though he knew Braeden had been all over him.

“Lie.” 

“What?” Stiles was thrown back. He knew Derek could tell if he was lying, he just didn’t expect to be called out to abruptly. 

“Stiles, I don’t know if you are lying to me or yourself. But you are lying either way. Why?”

“I just…” Panic was threatening to take hold. What the hell was he going to say? “I know. Okay. Don’t hide it, I just… just want to hear it from you.”

It was Derek’s turn to be taken back. He stood there, the shock on his face. “What… what do you know?”

Stiles stood abruptly. “I just… I know why you aren’t home all the time, I know why you have been the way you have been…” He didn’t want to say it. “I just… I get it. Okay. I get it that I am just not interesting anymore. I am not her…”

“You want me to admit that I am cheating on you?” Derek’s voice boomed. He was clearly angry. “Just because I am not here all the time I am suddenly cheating on you?”

“That’s not a no.” That was all Stiles needed, Derek wasn’t denying it. He wasn’t trying to tell Stiles it wasn’t what it looked like. He was redirecting the questions. It was exactly how Stiles got out of a lie. It was how most of them learned to get out of a lie. 

Stiles could see Derek shaking with anger, clearly holding back his wolf. Then it just clicked. If Derek just followed through, just once. It would end one of their suffering. He wouldn’t burden Derek, he would be free of the spastic movements, the never ending talking. 

Derek growled, his eyes turning Alpha red. “Go ahead Derek! Put one of us out of our misery!”

“Taking an easy way out? Instead of working for something? That seems to be how you like to handle things. Have you even picked a major? Or just wasting space?”

He froze, the wolf still across from him angry as ever. The words confirmed what Stiles was thinking, and he knew that was it. Stiles grabbed his keys off the coffee table, twisting them in his fingers. A tear slipped down his cheek. Stiles just nodded and left the loft. Not grabbing his bag, not looking Derek in the eye, just leaving. And Derek didn’t follow him.

Stiles found himself out in the preserve. Sitting in the Jeep. Sure it would be easy for Derek to find him here, but honestly he wasn't worried about it. The wolf clearly wasn't coming after him, he wasn't wanted anymore and that... that hurt. Stiles didn't know how long he had been sitting out here in the Jeep, but it was starting to get dark. With a glance at the clock it was only 3pm. A huge rumble caused Stiles to jump a little. 

"Perfect. A freaking thunderstorm."

As he turned the key in the ignition dread filled him. Nothing was happening. Roscoe had appeared to finally have given up. She wouldn't turn over. In his anger, Stiles stormed out of the Jeep, pulled the hood open and tried anything and everything he could to get the car to start. His anger was mounting, enough so that he slammed his hand into the Jeep effectively cutting into the side of his hand. 

The blood mixed with rain as it started to fall, and Stiles could barely feel it. He was just so angry. Angry at Roscoe for not starting, angry at himself for letting Derek slip into bed with someone else... Yeah that's right. Stiles had realized that this was all his fault. Everything was his fault. Sadness, depression... these were all feelings that Stiles was accustomed to at this point in his life. Each of them flooding into him almost reaching him to the point of panic. 

He couldn't stay out in this rain, and he wasn't going to sit in the Jeep and wait. So he left her. He left Roscoe sitting in the driveway to the old burnt out Hale Mansion and he walked. Not really realizing that his feet were taking him right home to the loft. 

++++ Derek's POV ++++

The loft had been empty for a while now, but Derek had still stood in the same place. It felt like his feet were cemented to the floor. He knew that time had ticked on, and he just stayed there. Thinking about what the hell had just happened. Coming home from training was normal, he had been out at a shooting range with Chris looking at some new weapons he had acquired. Derek had even shot a few, remembering how not to long ago his only defense was a gun. Peter had shown up, and that threw a wrench in everything.

Being around Peter still angered Derek. Especially after Stiles had let it slip that Peter offered him the bite. It spoiled the fun, and Derek left angry. He remembers feeling comforted by the sound of Stiles's heart, and the smell of Stiles. The smell of mahogany, teakwood, oak and lavender always made him feel like he was home. Sure things had been a little rough lately. Stiles was down on himself for not knowing what to do with his life, and Derek was scared that when he did find out what he wanted, that Derek wouldn't be part of it. Even though it scared Derek, he knew that Stiles was it for him. His scent was home, his heart beat was home. Those were two senses that Derek relied on the most, scent and sound. 

When Derek got home he wanted to shower and get the stink of gun powder and Peter off of him and spend the evening with Stiles. He would even watch one of those dumb TV shows that he just didn't get if it made Stiles happy. They had been spending less and less time together and it was putting his wolf on edge. It was his fault though. Subconsciously he was trying to make a clean break if Stiles didn't want him around anymore.

Stiles seemed nervous, but Derek hadn't really thought about it. Not until he had gotten out of the shower. The heartbeat from down stairs was growing erratic, not the danger erratic, but the Stiles is in his own head erratic. Almost like how he sounded during his nightmares. It was the smell of burning rubber that made his stop dead in his tracks. The scent of Stiles was gone.

"Stiles?" Turning to look, Derek saw Stiles sitting almost dead still on the couch not even watching the TV show even though his eyes were trained there.

"Hmm." 

"Are you okay?" He did his best to let the concern leak into his voice, but something was off.

"I'm fine." 

His voice was steady but his heart was lurching. Something was wrong here and Derek was going to get to the bottom of it. 

"Lie."

"What?" Stiles looked at Derek almost like he had been slapped.

“Stiles, I don’t know if you are lying to me or yourself. But you are lying either way. Why?”

“I just…” Stiles was starting to jitter, his leg bouncing and breath coming in a little faster than Derek liked. “I know. Okay. Don’t hide it, I just… just want to hear it from you.”

What the actual hell? What did was he talking about? “What… what do you know?”

Stiles stood abruptly. “I just… I know why you aren’t home all the time, I know why you have been the way you have been… I just… I get it. Okay. I get it that I am just not interesting anymore. I am not her…”

“You want me to admit that I am cheating on you?” Derek couldn't believe this... “Just because I am not here all the time I am suddenly cheating on you?”

“That’s not a no.” Stiles voice was quiet, he turned and looked away. Derek felt like he was being beaten over and over again with a baseball bat. 

His wolf was angry that his mate, _his_ Stiles thought that he would want someone else. Derek could feel his body shaking, wolf threatening to take and claim just to show that Stiles was wrong. Derek on the other hand wouldn't let that happen... he wasn't that type of person. He wasn't Kate.

A growl slipped through his throat, and his eyes flashed. “Go ahead Derek! Put one of us out of our misery!”

That was something that Derek hadn't been expecting. Sure Stiles had a thing for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and never really tried to keep himself alive but this.... he was not expecting Stiles to ever(italic) as him to kill him.

“Taking an easy way out? Instead of working for something? That seems to be how you like to handle things. Have you even picked a major? Or just wasting space?”

His mouth was running before he could stop it. That was not what he wanted to say, and it wasn't true. Sure Derek had a hard time with his emotions, and sometimes he just couldn't comprehend what the hell was going on because he never wanted to let anyone in enough to be afraid of losing them. That was what had happened with Stiles and now he was ruining it.

Stiles stilled in front of Derek, a gasp of air pushed out of his lungs and Derek could almost taste the burning rubber. Stiles looked him dead in the eye and Derek watched as he grabbed his keys from the table and let a tear slip before he was out the door.

The was how Derek ended up where he was. The anger had left him the moment the tear slid down Stiles's cheek. Stiles only cried when it came to his mom, Scott and his dad. Other than that Derek had never seen him cry. Now he stood there letting the full weight of what happened hit him. He made Stiles cry. He pushed Stiles away. 

God he was mad, he wasn't mad at Stiles. No he was mad at himself. The wolf was angry at the man it was born to. That anger is was uprooted Derek from his spot. This wasn't something sudden that bloomed over night. No something gave Stiles this idea that he wasn't good enough, and Derek was going to figure it out.

Derek's mind was a mess. Thinking over the conversation, the scent, and the times that he had pulled away. He tore through the bedroom, digging, looking, he tore through the living room finding Stiles's backpack full of clothes and full of books. His important things. Was he leaving? Derek moved to the table filtering through papers, anything he could find that would tell him that Stiles wasn't actually leaving him. That's when he found it. 

 

_To whom it may concern;_

_Stiles Stilinski. A man who put too much into people who didn't always appreciate it. He had tried so hard to keep his friends and family from the things that go bump in the night. Even if it meant subjecting himself to those things to the point of insanity. If he could describe himself, he would say that he was scatterbrained, talked entirely too much, forced his friendship on others. Potentially useless at times. Stiles had loved deeply, to the point of breaking. He would say that he never really accomplished much, but he loved his friends, his family, his pack. He really did, even if they didn't love him back._

_Stiles wants to be remembered as the sarcastic class clown that harassed Harris to the point of his disappearance (let it be known he had nothing to do with it). Not the kid who had nightmares, always crashed his Jeep, or disappointed his father. Most of all he wants everyone to know... he was sorry._

Derek's heart thundered in his chest. He didn't fully know what this was... but he knew exactly what it sounded like. Derek also knew that he needed to find Stiles, and he needed to find him now. He was outside running before he could really think about it. Trying to follow the scent of the Jeep. 

He found it quickly, out by his old house. The problem was the scent of burnt rubber was everywhere. Then he caught it. The scent of blood. Derek felt like his stomach was going to drop right to the preserve floor. If he found Stiles's body out in these woods he might as well just kill himself too. He couldn't live without Stiles. But the scent lead him a little ways away from the Jeep before the rain had washed it away. 

There was nothing to go on, no direction to go off searching. The best he could do was hope that he would find him alive on the way to the loft. Derek would like to think that he didn't just readily give up in the preserve, but he felt like he was breaking and he couldn't do it out there. Not again. He crossed the threshold of the loft, barely remembering to shut the door behind him before he practically collapsed on the floor. Stiles would be so mad that he was creating a huge puddle on the floor.

Thinking of Stiles sent him over the edge. Everywhere in the loft was covered in some memory of Stiles. The nicknacks everywhere, the faint scent. Derek broke apart right there in the living room, on the floor. Crying. 

++++ Stiles ++++

His clothes were completely soaked through, and his hand was starting to hurt. Stiles didn't really want to go into the loft and have to talk to Derek again, but he was here and this was for all intents and purposes his home. When he slid the door open what he saw in the living room was like a flashback. 

Derek was huddled on the floor in a puddle of water. His body shaking. It was just like when the Alpha's made him kill Boyd. Panic pushed through him. Did something happen to the pack? Was Derek hurt? From where he stood frozen, it just appeared that Derek was soaking wet, but there were no injuries that he could see. Then he heard the small sob that left Derek. _Shit_.

Stiles practically ran to Derek. Kneeling down in front of the wolf, noticing no sign of the angry Alpha he had left in this very room hours ago. With a Shaky hand Stiles tried to lift Derek's head.

"Der?"

Derek looked up, his eyes bloodshot from the tears that were falling down his cheeks. His green eyes vibrant against the red, it took Stiles's breath away even though he hated seeing Derek like this. The wolf's eyes were frantic as they traced over Stiles's face. He watched as Derek cocked his head to the side, no doubt listening for Stiles's heart.

"S...Stiles?"

"Yeah... Der... It's me. What happened?"

That is when the damn broke and Derek shook.

"I.. I tried... I read the letter and then I just ran and I found the Jeep. I just needed to find you, I knew I needed to find you but all I could smell was depression and blood and then I lost it... I lost the scent because of the rain and I gave up because I didn't want to believe it... I was scared that I would find you dead..."

"What? Wait... Derek slow down. Hey! I'm right here!" 

Stiles pulled Derek's hand to his chest. Letting him feel the heartbeat. Confusion filled his mind. What the hell was Derek talking about?

"What letter Der?"

"The one on the table... addressed to whom it may concern... Stiles I'm sorry. I... please don't... I can't live without you."

Oh son of a bitch. Stiles suddenly knew exactly what was happening here. Derek found the obituary assignment, and he though it was a suicide note. 

"Derek. That..." Stiles pointed to the paper on the table. "That is an assignment. Poorly left behind by me. The blood... I cut my hand on the Jeep because it wouldn't start. I'm not going to kill myself Derek."

"No... but you would be okay with me killing you." Derek leveled Stiles with a stare.

Yeah he had said that... kinda. Shit there was no way to get out of this easily. 

"I'm sorry. I was mad... no that's not true. I was hurt. I didn't want to believe that you would...."

"I'm not. Stiles. I was shooting with Chris. I came home angry because of Peter, I'm still so angry with him. I would never..."

"Why have you been pulling away?"

"Because it scares me that you might choose a life without me. I thought that if... if you choose that then it would be easier if I was distant." 

"Derek Hale. You listen to me. Why would I want a life without you? Isn't it clear that the thought of not being with you hurt me so bad that I wouldn't have stopped you from killing me to be rid of me?"

Stiles didn't let Derek answer. Instead he pulled Derek into him and pressed his lips to the wolfs. Conveying every single emotion he had for Derek in that one kiss. 

"Don't do that to me again. Please." 

Stiles snorted a bit. Things might be rough for a while, but based off of the way Derek couldn't stop scenting him, and wouldn't let him go... things would be okay.


End file.
